Here's a pretty simple rule when dealing with ANYONE: don't try to tell their story or explain how they should feel. I don't care how many friends of X minority you have, or that you knew a girl once with depression: you don't have all the answers.
Everyone has their own theory on overcoming victimhood. The process and timing is different for each person- which is okay. They can choose the label of victim, survivor, something else, or nothing at all. And for many people, being a survivor isn't something you just get over with enough time; that trauma will always be there for them.
But other people's pain makes us uncomfortable, so we'd really prefer if they could just get over it already, or at least stop talking about it. Really. Such a downer. Maybe sharing anecdotes of people who have chosen to reject victimhood and live their life free of their past will make the rest of those survivors stop whining!
Or, alternatively, we can recognize all emotions and reactions to trauma as valid. We can provide support and empathy, instead of criticism and unsolicited advice on recovery.
Which brings me to my take on the cartoon facebook profile pictures to raise awareness of child abuse: The benefits are low, and the overall effect is probably neutral. I've read at least one response from a survivor saying they appreciated the thought, but I've also heard the opposite response from people who feel their experience has been cheapened for a fake cause, or who just don't want a constant reminder every time they log on to facebook. All those responses are okay and understandable. What's not okay- participants who get defensive when someone reacts negatively to the campaign and label that person "too sensitive" or "too absorbed in their own victimhood". You don't get to tell a person that their reaction is wrong, and a good friend would be sympathetic to those feelings. Think before you post.
